Father's Day !

man, what do i remember. . . my brain is like mush from living in the moment for so many decades. But, man, i remember my father, and him just being balls to the wall heavy and great and tough as shit and look at that hair and beard and he'd wear bell-bottom jeans and work boots rode a Harley chopper, without a shirt, FREE, and i'd ride in front of him chewing my hair off and watching the lights hugging the gas tank, he drove a mustang fastback and told us all how much he loved us everyday and would throw his arms around us and take us to the country in his truck with 8-track playing bob dylan and country joe, and he'd take me out the everglades and throw beer bottles out into the swamps and shoot them with rifles and the sun was so hot it would crush me being a kid, who just wished he could ever be all the things this man, my father was and still is to this very day, some days when i'm with my boys i can't believe how much dad has given to us, man, i can't believe how much love~ and worry he has poured into me~ and then i feel shitty because i doubt that i, on the other hand, am even remotely capable of helping and loving my boys as much ~ he was so proud of me, i can still hear him telling people about my frog catching abilities, or my incredible vision~ back way when i was 8 and 10 and 16 working in grocery stores and going to work with him on Saturdays to hang duct work and eat potato chips and meet people in bars and drive really fast down dark city streets
To my father ! the bravest man i have ever known ! shit, i saw a cop pull a gun on him just for yelling about parking tickets !

i can only hope that my boys have some of grandpa in them ! and really live life ! 

happy father's day, big Neil !

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