shoulder to cry on

we found out / that it's cheaper to build a book online and order it / glossy cover and all / than it is to go out and get a photocopy of the same w/ out cover

so now i have a bunch of review copies to pass around

to see if anyone will actually read this three day novel / i wrote last September / in my van / a surf / s/f novel

and offer real opinions and advice / Jake painted the cover

i had thought this was going to be paperback sized. it's not, it's magazine size, if you would like to receive a copy drop me your address and i'll mail one out to you / but / you'll have to send me back corrections or advice / or bad news

this is my personnel

i hate to talk about art / but love found pieces of crap
and homes encapsulated in bamboo
living in shitty apartments with old appliances and radiators
boarded up / accordion gated forgotten storefront dreaming
dirt roads between city streets /mud puddles / and the smell of hall
pools of brackish ran out of money
bee houses ? bee houses ? bee houses ?
pushing buttons / ringing alarm / holding doors / looking in mirrors
pretending to believe in things / to have favorites
keeping my fucking mouth shut / shutting the fuck up
breaking in my first car / another car and you
birds nests on cold winter days lack of snowfall
caged dioramas
massive groupings of similar things
looking into trashed out windows / peeping / against peeling paints potato chip fragility
browsing through piles of debris
collecting / or evidence
the emptiness of endings / NE!L~

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